you’ll be involved artistically

Friends,

I hope that you enjoyed the first episode.  I had a lot of fun making it in a little British pub in Santa Monica while everyone looked over wondering why I was grinning at the screen for three hours straight.  I need your help though: what do you want to see in the upcoming episodes?  How would you like to be entertained?  Give me some feedback people.

Here, have a creepy picture of an abandoned stroller I came across while walking back to my sister’s dorm yesterday:

The Great Escape – Episode 1

Big ass hammers, Taylor Swift, 3 hours of sleep…what could go wrong?

bitchin technology

For the moderate price of $38, I will literally be sleeping on a CUSHION OF AIR.

New goal acquired: do not fall asleep at the wheel of the land destroyer on the last leg of the trip, which will be an 800+ mile blitz from Arizona to the Bay Area.  I’ll see how I feel when I’m on the I-40 – if I’m too tired, I’ll go back to Westwood and stay/get matching tattoos with my sister for one more day before heading back early on Wednesday (wink wink).  The important thing is that I get back to the Bay to get drunk with Jeff, who will be in SF attending an IT conference on user interface on Wednesday and Thursday next week.

this is jeff

Now all I need is two small pieces of stained glass suspended/affixed in front of my eyes to keep the sun from damaging them.

developments

1. Figured out what I’m probably going to do in Westwood on Friday night.

click photo for the Yelp review of Ohara’s

Word among the Bruins I’ve polled is that many UCLA students hang out at a bar called Ohara’s (formerly Maloey’s), and it is a crappy, divey, frat-filled, poor service shithole that everyone goes to when they turn 21 but learn to hate.  Basically, it’s the Kip’s of UCLA.  How I feel about this assessment is best expressed, like so many things, with a Pulp Fiction quote.

Vincent: breaks down like this: it’s legal to buy it, it’s legal to own it, and if you’re the proprietor of a hash bar, it’s legal to sell it. It’s illegal to carry it, but that doesn’t really matter ’cause get a load of this, all right – if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it’s illegal for them to search you. I mean, that’s a right the cops in Amsterdam don’t have.

Jules: [laughing] Oh, man!  I’m going, that’s all there is to it. I’m fucking going.

2. Decided generally where I’m going to go in Arizona

Picture and recommendation by Maeve, my awesome friend from Boalt

It’s called the North Rim.  Unlike the South Rim, where tourists usually go, this side is reached from Utah and is far less traveled.  Apparently it’s only visited by about 10% of the visitors to the Grand Canyon and is only open for part of the year, resulting in a much less touristy feel to the GC experience.  I’m excited.

3. Got a place to stay in Vegas

Click for hotels.com listening of the Best Western Mari Gras.

My mother, bless her heart, is quite worried about the brushes-with-death that I’ve advertised in my descriptions of the Great Escape.  As such, she has gifted me with a hotel reservation near the Las Vegas strip, so when I’m running from angry loan sharks, I can have my last stand at a place that only has one entrance (hotel room) and fewer windows (the land cruiser has six).  From her e-mail to me:

The hotel I’ve booked is already paid.
They might ask you the credit card when you check in. Just give them yours. They are not going to charge you if you don’t drink anything from the mini bar or break some furniture.

This is going to be the best trip ever.

The Great Escape: planning days 1 & 2

Well, I definitely underestimated the amount of time that I would have to plan my trip, but fear not, there is always the option of going completely unprepared.

Day 1: Bay Area to UCLA

Sometime Friday morning, I’ll be helping my sister load her college stuff into the Land Destroyer and driving down to UCLA.  My original plan was to start out towards Las Vegas shortly thereafter, but given that I have someplace to stay (and more importantly, shower) at UCLA, I think I might stay there and crash on her floor.

—

The big question is what the hell I’m going to do while I’m there.  My sister has told me repeatedly that she won’t be able to hang out with me that night because she’ll be doing UCLA crew recruiting stuff, so I’ll be left to my own to find something interesting to do in Westwood.  Can someone recommend some cool spots to hang out?  Otherwise I’m yelping that shit.  Maybe some good movies coming out next weekend?

Day 2: UCLA to Las Vegas

Saturday morning I’ll drive over to Las Vegas, where I will be faced with four very difficult tasks:

1. DO NOT lose all of my money very quickly, or at all.  Hang out near the craps table, drink fast and play slow.
2. DO NOT get lonely and cry pathetically into a glass of whisky, since LV is a place you only go with friends, and I will not have any there with me.
3. DO NOT stay in a hotel that costs more than 35 bucks, because it goes against the spirit of the trip.  This, unfortunately, may be impossible.  Yes, this may mean I might have to sleep in my car someplace.  Uhh…anyone have friends in Las Vegas?
4. DO NOT get in any taxi at any point whatsoever, because if I get into a taxi, I will inevitably end up at the orphanage.  Also, do not end up at the orphanage.

Day 3 + 4 Grand Canyon, Day 5 back to the Bay Area

To be continued…

The Great Escape: concept

There are two things that I hate: being outdone, and being alone.  This trip is about confronting both of these hatreds.

First of all, being outdone.  Jeff Kimball, in his spirit of Awesome, has successfully (?) completed a lap of Lake Michigan over Labor Day Weekend.  Not only did he complete this 1100 mile feat via motorcycle, but multiple members of his party had brushes with death, his writeup was excellent, and he had VIDEOS.  His adventure, then, eclipses my previous most awesome adventure, a 1200 mile ride down and up the Pacific Coast, if only in miles-traveled to brushes-with-death ratio.

You can catch the writeups for those trips here, here, and here, with more to come.

The other thing I really hate is being alone.  Especially when I am single, even a day or two by myself can feel crippling-ly lonely.  Even with plenty to do: movies to watch, work to complete, music to enjoy, the gravity of being around someone, anyone, is often overwhelming.  I can pretty much only do two things by myself for an extended period of time: work in the garage, and ride a motorcycle.

Enter my five-day, 1695 mile solo, Berkeley to LA to Las Vegas to Grand Canyon to Berkeley trip:

The first leg will consist of driving down to UCLA with my sister, and then I’ll be on my own.  Some things that I will be doing:

1. Visiting the MGM Grand roulette table that became the hero of the famed, epic Vegas road trip from two years ago.
2. Seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time.
3. Having brushes with death.
4. Taking lots of pictures, doing a lot of writing, TAKING VIDEOS.

But Justin, you may be thinking, how will you have the money to undertake this trip?  The hotels alone will cost you 7-800 dollars!  Well, my friend, I will be converting the Land Destroyer into a camper, in which I will put a mattress and some basic amenities.

Some things I need to do before I leave:

1. Put some kind of curtains in the Land Destroyer’s windows so that I won’t be harassed/raped/murdered as I sleep in random parking lots around American Southwest.
2. Put bed in LD.
3. Stock the LD with food, water, and embarrassing amounts of beer for one person clothing.
4. Figure out how to mount a video camera to the passenger seat so that I can record Top-Gear style, in-car segments.
5. Figure out how I’m going to shower during the trip.

Does anyone have a small air mattress I can borrow?  Or any other tips/advice/warnings?